• Alison Cowell

Don't be fooled!


Hmmmmm…….. it’s been an interesting few weeks. (Look at me being all positive by using the word ‘interesting’. Yes folks, I’m still in cup-half-full mode – just. )We ordered a new bath in the first week of January, resisting the urgency of the salesman to buy a complete suite with tiles, mirror and adornments while they were all on sale (two months on, they are still the same price).

It was a very cute Victorian style bath with claw feet (I know, bless!) and it was designed to fit against a wall, unlike most claw-feet baths that stand alone. We are having to be mindful of space, so this gorgeous bath fitted the bill. We paid for it and were then told that we would have to wait for delivery, as it was out of stock. It was their most popular model apparently and was selling faster than it could be produced. The salesman tapped away on his keyboard and tilted his screen away from us as he pondered the display. He then let out the obligatory intake of breath, shook his head and declared the earliest delivery wouldn’t be until March. Not ideal but, as you know, we have learned to be patient. It was due to be delivered on March 8th and I was excited to think that after all these months I might be able to finally indulge in a lovely bath (even though the bathroom has yet to be decorated and tiled). The delivery truck arrived, and two burly men rummaged in the back of the truck. Excitement mounted! I kept my smile as they emerged with two small……very small…..boxes. That was all they had. One box had a plug, the other had feet. What? “No bath in stock” sniffed burly man 1. “It’ll be another few weeks” confirmed burly man 2. Smile no longer appropriate or necessary.

A long drawn out exchange with customer services resulted in an apology and confirmation that we would get a bath after 20th April. Admittedly they are giving us a (very) small compensation and said they wouldn’t be charging us the $45 delivery charge. I should think not - $45 for a plug and some feet is hardly warranted! Steve and I are convinced that someone else probably succumbed to the salesman’s patter and got our bath as part of their package. We consoled ourselves over a beer and a wine and spoke about conspiracy theories for the rest of the evening. We felt all the better for doing so.

If the bathroom is not proceeding as planned, the kitchen is coming along. We bought some white paint together with a tray and a roller and I was presented with another opportunity to sport my overalls. I don’t mind painting, but I really do like to see the results of my efforts. This paint went on like water, and it wasn’t showing up at all. Steve convinced me it would turn white as it dried but I wasn’t convinced, and I lost my enthusiasm. I sploshed it around half-heartedly, getting more on myself and Asia than the intended target of the ceiling and walls. Turns out Steve was right, and the resultant mottled mess had to be rollered over two times more.

I’m watching with interest as Steve starts putting the cabinets together. The plans supplied by the kitchen company look like something out of a science exam and the terminology used is almost as complicated. (Why not call a drawer a drawer?). We will have to get a carpenter in to do the worktops. It has been delivered in one long piece!

I had a lovely few days away in England catching up with family and friends. Lots of laughs …..and baths…..just the tonic I needed. Steve had a lovely time continuing work on the cottage, he truly did! I suspect he also watched many episodes of Top Gear (the only programme I simply refuse to watch any more).

Oh, and an interesting observation: in the south of England everyone is ‘your mate’, up here in Scotland they are ‘yer pal’.


Copyright © 2019 Alison Cowell

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